{"id":227275,"date":"2019-08-22T22:59:11","date_gmt":"2019-08-22T20:59:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sandzakpress.net\/arhiva\/da-li-vaspitavamo-egomanijake-nikad-zadovoljne-i-stalno-gladne-paznje"},"modified":"2019-08-22T22:59:11","modified_gmt":"2019-08-22T20:59:11","slug":"da-li-vaspitavamo-egomanijake-nikad-zadovoljne-i-stalno-gladne-paznje","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandzakpress.net\/arhiva\/da-li-vaspitavamo-egomanijake-nikad-zadovoljne-i-stalno-gladne-paznje\/","title":{"rendered":"Da li vaspitavamo egomanijake, nikad zadovoljne i stalno gladne pa\u017enje?"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Djeca su nam tu da ih odgojimo i pustimo da \u017eive.. Da ih osposobimo za \u017eivot, ujedno ne zanemaruju\u0107i svoj. Nikako da im slu\u017eimo i umjesto njih rastemo.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ne znam, ali poput na\u0161ih roditelja i mi smo pretjerali, samo na potpuno druga\u010diji na\u010din. Dotakli smo drugu krajnost.<\/p>\n

Nasja Duplan\u010di\u0107 sa bloga \u201cMama, ja sam gladan\u201d objavila je na svom sajtu svoja zapa\u017eanja o odgajanju djece nekad i sad, zapitav\u0161i se odgajamo li danas egomanijake. Djeca su se nekad bolje vaspitavala, zaklju\u010duje Nastja, a sla\u017eu se sa njom svi njeni pratioci \u0161irom Balkana. Sla\u017eete li se vi?<\/p>\n

Izvor:<\/strong>\u00a0mamajasamgladan.com<\/p>\n

Nasjin tekst prenosimo u cijelosti:<\/p>\n

Moje djetinjstvo trajalo je sedamdesetih i osamdesetih..<\/p>\n

Mama, tata, pet godina stariji brat i ja. Ne sje\u0107am se da su se roditelji igrali sa mnom. Imala sam igra\u010dke i provodila sate u svijetu ma\u0161te. Mama je kuhala ili pospremala. Bavila se ku\u0107om i va\u017enijim stvarima.<\/p>\n

Niti sam htjela niti ju tra\u017eila da se igramo skupa. Zato valjda i danas imam bujnu ma\u0161tu i u\u017eivam u rijetkim trenutcima samo\u0107e. Ljeti smo po cijele dane bili vani, penjali se, skakali, ali znalo se vrijeme ru\u010dka, ve\u010dere i spavanja. Kada su nam dolazili gosti, znalo se da djeca, osim za vrijeme jela, nemaju \u0161to tra\u017eiti za stolom s odraslima.<\/p>\n

\u2018Ajmo, djeco, u sobu!<\/p>\n

I bilo nam je super, odli\u010dno smo se zabavljali. Ne znam, niti sam ikada \u010dula temu razgovora koja se me\u0111u starijima odvijala. Nije me uop\u0107e zanimalo. Kada smo i\u0161li u goste, pa bi doma\u0107ini ponudili kola\u010de, a ja bih pro\u017edrljivo posegnula za tre\u0107im komadom, mama bi me prostrijelila pogledom tako da sam ruku istog trena povukla prema sebi. Ostalo mi je do dan danas usje\u010deno u pam\u0107enje njeno:<\/p>\n

\u201cNisi se do\u0161la najesti, pristojno uzme\u0161 komad, dva i stane\u0161!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Tako i ja danas s prijezirom gledam na ljude koji pobrste \u0161vedski stol na nekom eventu. Nismo plakali, vri\u0161tali i vikali da nam je dosadno. Ako bi nam i palo na pamet, odgovor bi bio: \u201dzabavi se ne\u010dim.\u201d I zabavili bi se. Uh, kako je ma\u0161ta radila..<\/p>\n

Bili smo \u010disti, uredni, pristojni, mogli smo se kontrolirati kad smo trebali biti tiho, a itekako aktivni kad bi nas pustili s lanca.. Jeli smo sve, nije bilo pitanja:\u201d \u017deli\u0161 li?\u201d Nikada. I\u0161li smo gdje su roditelji htjeli, kada je njima pasalo.. I bilo nam je zabavno\u2026 Uvijek.<\/p>\n

Veselili smo se izletima na koje smo redovito i\u0161li vikendom i putovanju vozom na more. Tata je radio, a mama je bila kod ku\u0107e, brinula, hranila, prigovarala, slu\u0161ala, bodrila. Bila je autoritet, nikako prijatelj.<\/p>\n

Kasnije, kad je djetinjstvo preraslo u adolescenciju, bila je oslonac, psiholog, savjetnik, kriti\u010dar, podr\u0161ka. Sve po potrebi.\u00a0 Promatrala nas je, razgovarala o problemima, tje\u0161ila. Znala je prepoznati svaku emociju i ni\u0161ta od nje nisam mogla sakriti. Nije bila prijatelj. I to se nagla\u0161avalo, da se ne zabunim, da ju ne tretiram poput svojeg vr\u0161njaka, bez po\u0161tovanja.<\/p>\n

Svako nepo\u0161tovanje odraslih ka\u017enjavalo se rukom po guzi. Bez obja\u0161njavanja, razgovaranja. Uvrijedio si starijeg, \u0161amar. Pa ti uvrijedi i budi bezobrazan sljede\u0107i put. Pla\u017eenje jezika, ru\u017ene rije\u010di\u2026 opet onaj ranije spomenuti mamin pogled\u2026<\/p>\n

Ne smatram da je bilo idealno\u2026 Nakon izlaska subotom, tata me budio u 9 kako bi pomagala pospremati stan. Nakon 10 minuta telefoniranja vikao mi je da prekinem i da se na\u0111em u \u010detiri oka ako \u017eelim toliko razgovarati. Ograni\u010deni izlasci su mi beskrajno i\u0161li na \u017eivce.<\/p>\n

A onda se ne\u0161to prelomilo usput, pa je takva vrsta odgoja postala previ\u0161e surova. Vrijeme je izrodilo nove generacije roditelja. Beskrajno tolerantne, one koji podr\u017eavaju prijateljski odnos s djecom i to im je ba\u0161 cool..<\/p>\n

Nemojte me pogre\u0161no shvatiti, promjene su potrebne, rekla bih nu\u017ene, ali imam osje\u0107aj da smo oti\u0161li iz jedne krajnosti u drugu.<\/p>\n

Zbog vlastitog bunta ili inata?<\/p>\n

Ne znam, ali poput na\u0161ih roditelja i mi smo pretjerali, samo na potpuno druga\u010diji na\u010din. Dotakli smo drugu krajnost.<\/p>\n

Po\u010deli smo voditi filozofske rasprave s dvogodi\u0161njacima, gledamo na djecu kao na statusni simbol, poput novog automobila, pa ga lickamo, dotjerujemo, pokazujemo, hvalimo se: \u201dKoliko kilometara ima tvoj? A konja? Kakve felge ima\u0161? Moj mo\u017ee potegnuti bolje od tvog! A kakav je u zavoju?\u201d -Tako vam to meni izgleda\u2026<\/p>\n

Trenutno su djeca u centru pa\u017enje, sjede na \u010delu stola, \u0161tovi\u0161e, biraju mjesto gdje \u0107e sjediti i to im se odobrava.<\/p>\n

\n
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<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Djeca prislu\u0161kuju razgovore odraslih, upadaju u rije\u010d, vode glavnu rije\u010d i glavna su tema razgovora. Dakako, uvijek vo\u0111ene u superlativima\u2026 Moj mali je ovo, moja mala je bolje\u2026 Djeca dolaze u goste s re\u010denicom:\u00a0\u201dja sam gladan!\u201d<\/em>\u00a0pa ti pobrste pola fri\u017eidera, dok se roditelji smiju. Djecu se konstantno zabavlja, ne znaju se sami igrati, pa te vuku za rukav i tra\u017ee pa\u017enju. Ako im ne pru\u017ei\u0161 pa\u017enju onda vri\u0161te, pa cijela porodica sudjeluje u smirivanju.<\/p>\n

Roditelji se sva\u0111aju s u\u010diteljima, prijete im otkazima, prijete drugoj djeci, ako im neko u \u017earu igre dotakne vlastito dijete.<\/p>\n

Roditelji pljuju pred djecom po u\u010diteljima, tako da se i djeca usu\u0111uju odgovarati u\u010diteljima kad do\u0111u u razred. Pa nestane svakog autoriteta. Djeca su postala smisao \u017eivota svojih roditelja, \u017eivotni projekt, jedina tema razgovora, nerealnog ponosa.<\/p>\n

S ponosom bi trebali pri\u010dati o svojim dostignu\u0107ima, interesima, iskustvima, a dijete o svojim. Umjesto toga, hvalimo se tu\u0111im (djetetovim) dostignu\u0107ima, prisvajaju\u0107i ih kao svoju zaslugu.<\/p>\n

Djeca su nam tu da ih odgojimo i pustimo da \u017eive.. Da ih osposobimo za \u017eivot, ujedno ne zanemaruju\u0107i svoj. Nikako da im slu\u017eimo i umjesto njih rastemo.<\/p>\n

Da ih satima \u010dekamo ispred no\u0107nih klubova i vozimo ku\u0107ama. (da to je postalo normalno) Da im dr\u017eimo lavor kad nakon izlaska pijani do\u0111u ku\u0107i.<\/p>\n

Da im toleriramo nedopustivo.<\/p>\n

Da ih nagra\u0111ujemo za dobru ocjenu. Pobogu, pa ona bi sama po sebi trebala biti nagrada.<\/p>\n

\u010cini li vam se da u osnovnim \u0161kolama svi imaju petice? istina, ponekad je lak\u0161e djetetu zaklju\u010diti ve\u0107u ocjenu nego imati posla s nabildanim taticom koji \u0107e ti prijetiti jer je \u201cstara koza\u201d o\u0161tetila njegovo iznad prosje\u010dno inteligentno dijete i dala mu 4. A ono zna za 10. Barem.<\/p>\n

Pojam zlostavljanja i nesta\u0161ne dje\u010dje igre se izjedna\u010dio.<\/p>\n

Mi smo se grudvali, borili se koprivama, dolazili ku\u0107i ope\u010deni, ozebli, crveni. Niko nije zbog toga dizao paniku. Nismo bili toliko osjetljivi. Nismo tu\u017eakali, jer smo znali da \u0107emo zbog tu\u017eakanja dobiti jo\u0161 jedan \u0161amar. Kad razgovaram malo s novope\u010denim roditeljima, svima je zajedni\u010dka jedna re\u010denica:\u00a0\u201cNajva\u017enije mi je da mi dijete bude sretno!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Na\u0161im roditeljima je bilo va\u017enije da usre\u0107imo druge! Jer, shva\u0107ali su da je u tome, indirektno, i na\u0161a sre\u0107a.<\/p>\n

Obratiti pa\u017enju na ljude, ne biti sebi\u010dan, samo\u017eiv, razvijati empatiju, suosje\u0107ati, brinuti, biti obazriv.. To se negdje putem izgubilo.<\/p>\n

Odgajamo li samo\u017eive egomanijake?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nikada zadovoljne osobe, vje\u010dno \u017eeljne pa\u017enje. One koji ne trpe autoritet, zabrane, uvjete, rokove, pa se cijeli \u017eivot tra\u017ee i \u010dekaju savr\u0161enu priliku da padne s neba, a takve nema.<\/p>\n

U me\u0111uvremenu ih roditelji finansiraju, peru, hrane, tje\u0161e.. Jer njihovo zlato zaslu\u017euje bolje. I ovaj svijet nije dovoljno dobar za njih. Jesam li\u00a0 pretjerala? U svakom slu\u010daju, mislim da nam treba zlatna sredina. Ne\u0161to izme\u0111u odgojnih metoda na\u0161ih roditelja i ovih danas. Vrijeme \u0107e pokazati, ako nas vlastita djeca ne pojedu za doru\u010dak.<\/p>\n

Izvor: Akos.ba<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/span>
\nPogledajte vijest na izvornom sajtu:<\/p>\n

Da li vaspitavamo egomanijake, nikad zadovoljne i stalno gladne pa\u017enje?<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Djeca su nam tu da ih odgojimo i pustimo da \u017eive.. Da ih osposobimo za \u017eivot, ujedno ne zanemaruju\u0107i svoj. Nikako da im slu\u017eimo i umjesto njih rastemo. Ne znam, ali poput na\u0161ih roditelja i mi smo pretjerali, samo na potpuno druga\u010diji na\u010din. Dotakli smo drugu krajnost. Nasja Duplan\u010di\u0107 sa bloga \u201cMama, ja sam gladan\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10514],"tags":[10516],"class_list":{"0":"post-227275","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-islam-press","7":"tag-islam"},"yoast_head":"\nDa li vaspitavamo egomanijake, nikad zadovoljne i stalno gladne pa\u017enje?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/sandzakpress.net\/arhiva\/da-li-vaspitavamo-egomanijake-nikad-zadovoljne-i-stalno-gladne-paznje\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"bs_BA\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Da li vaspitavamo egomanijake, nikad zadovoljne i stalno gladne pa\u017enje?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Djeca su nam tu da ih odgojimo i pustimo da \u017eive.. Da ih osposobimo za \u017eivot, ujedno ne zanemaruju\u0107i svoj. Nikako da im slu\u017eimo i umjesto njih rastemo. Ne znam, ali poput na\u0161ih roditelja i mi smo pretjerali, samo na potpuno druga\u010diji na\u010din. Dotakli smo drugu krajnost. 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Da ih osposobimo za \u017eivot, ujedno ne zanemaruju\u0107i svoj. Nikako da im slu\u017eimo i umjesto njih rastemo. Ne znam, ali poput na\u0161ih roditelja i mi smo pretjerali, samo na potpuno druga\u010diji na\u010din. Dotakli smo drugu krajnost. Nasja Duplan\u010di\u0107 sa bloga \u201cMama, ja sam gladan\u201d […]","og_url":"https:\/\/sandzakpress.net\/arhiva\/da-li-vaspitavamo-egomanijake-nikad-zadovoljne-i-stalno-gladne-paznje\/","og_site_name":"Sand\u017eak PRESS","article_published_time":"2019-08-22T20:59:11+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/akos.ba\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/djete222.jpg?fit=680%2C450&ssl=1","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"bosniak","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"bosniak","Est. reading time":"7 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