{"id":153020,"date":"2016-01-24T11:31:04","date_gmt":"2016-01-24T10:31:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sandzakpress.net\/arhiva\/kako-sam-spasio-svoj-brak"},"modified":"2016-01-24T11:31:04","modified_gmt":"2016-01-24T10:31:04","slug":"kako-sam-spasio-svoj-brak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandzakpress.net\/arhiva\/kako-sam-spasio-svoj-brak\/","title":{"rendered":"Kako sam spasio svoj brak"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/strong><\/p>\n

Moja najstarija k\u0107er, Jenna, mi je nedavno rekla: \u201eMoj najve\u0107i strah u djetinjstvu je bio da se ti i mama razvedete. Onda, kada mi je bilo 12 godina, odlu\u010dila sam da se toliko sva\u0111ate da bi bilo najbolje da se razvedete\u201c. Zatim je dodala sa osmjehom: \u201eDrago mi je da ste neke stvari shvatili\u201c.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dugo godina moja supruga Keri i ja smo se sva\u0111ali. Gledaju\u0107i unazad, nisam ba\u0161 siguran \u0161ta nas je to na po\u010detku privuklo jedno drugom, na\u0161i karakteri se ba\u0161 ne poklapaju. I \u0161to smo du\u017ee bili u braku to su se razlike doimale ve\u0107im. To \u0161to smo postali\u00a0\u2018slavniji i bogatiji\u2019 nije olak\u0161alo na\u0161 brak. U stvari, to je pogor\u0161alo na\u0161e probleme. Napetost izme\u0111u nas je postala toliko lo\u0161a tako da su\u00a0turneje promocije knjige predstavljale olak\u0161anje. Na\u0161e sva\u0111anje je postalo tako \u010desto\u00a0da je \u010dak bilo te\u0161ko zamisliti mirni odnos. Bili smo stalno odbrambeni, grade\u0107i\u00a0emocionalnu tvr\u0111avu oko na\u0161ih srca. Bili smo na rubu razvoda i vi\u0161e od jednom smo o tome\u00a0razgovarali.<\/p>\n

Bio sam na turneji sa knjigom kada su mi neke stvari do\u0161le u glavu. Upravo smo imali \u017eestoku sva\u0111u preko telefona i Keri mi je spustila slu\u0161alicu. Bio sam sam i usamljen, frustriran i ljut. Bio sam na\u00a0izmaku\u00a0snaga.<\/p>\n

Tada sam se okrenuo Bogu. Ili uklju\u010dio sam i Boga. Ne znam da li to mo\u017eemo nazvati molitvom, jer vikanje na Boga nije molitva, mo\u017eda jeste, ali kako god to nikad ne\u0107u zaboraviti. Stajao sam pod tu\u0161em i vikao sam na Boga da je brak pogre\u0161an i da vi\u0161e ne mogu izdr\u017eati. Koliko god da sam mrzio ideju razvoda, to \u0161to smo skupa me je previ\u0161e boljelo. Tako\u0111er sam bio i zbunjen. Nisam ni mogao zamisliti da bi moj brak sa Keri mogao biti tako te\u017eak. Duboko u sebi znao sam da je Keri dobra osoba. A i ja sam dobra osoba. Dakle, zbog \u010dega se ne bismo mogli slagati? Za\u0161to sam o\u017eenio osobu toliko druga\u010diju od mene? Za\u0161to se ona ne bi mogla promijeniti?<\/p>\n

Kona\u010dno, promukao i slomljen, sjeo sam pod tu\u0161 i po\u010deo plakati. U mom potpunom o\u010daju ne\u0161to mi je sinulo na pamet. Ne mo\u017ee\u0161 nju promijeniti Rick. Jedino mo\u017ee\u0161 promijeniti samog sebe. U tom momentu sam po\u010deo da se molim. Ukoliko ne mogu promijeniti nju, Bo\u017ee, onda promijeni mene. I molio sam do kasno u no\u0107. Molio sam se i naredni dan na putu do ku\u0107e. Molio sam se dok sam hodao prema vratima do svoje hladne supruge koja me je jedva i primijetila. Te no\u0107i, dok smo le\u017eali u krevetu, par centimetara jedno od drugog, a zapravo kilometrima udaljeni, do\u0161la mi je inspiracija. Znao sam \u0161ta moram uraditi.<\/p>\n

Sljede\u0107eg jutra sam se u krevetu\u00a0okrenuo\u00a0prema Keri i upitao: \u201e\u0160ta mogu u\u010diniti da ti dan u\u010dinim boljim?\u201c<\/p>\n

Pogledala me je ljutito: \u201e\u0160ta?\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201eKako ti mogu dan u\u010diniti boljim?\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201eNe mo\u017ee\u0161\u201c, rekla je ona. \u201eZbog \u010dega pita\u0161?\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201eZato \u0161to to tako mislim\u201c, rekao sam. \u201eSamo \u017eelim da znam \u0161ta mogu u\u010diniti da ti dan bude bolji\u201c.<\/p>\n

Pogledala me je cini\u010dno.<\/p>\n

\u201e\u017deli\u0161 da ne\u0161to uradi\u0161? O\u010disti kuhinju\u201c.<\/p>\n

Ona je vjerovatno o\u010dekivala da \u0107u se naljutiti. Umjesto toga samo sam klimnuo glavom. \u201eU redu\u201c.<\/p>\n

Ustao sam i o\u010distio kuhinju.<\/p>\n

Sutradan sam je upitao istu stvar.\u00a0\u201e\u0160ta mogu u\u010diniti da ti dan u\u010dinim\u00a0boljim?\u201c<\/p>\n

Jedva gledaju\u0107i je rekla: \u201eO\u010disti gara\u017eu\u201c.<\/p>\n

Duboko sam uzdahnuo. Ve\u0107 me ionako o\u010dekivao naporan dan i znao sam da je uprkos tome to zahtijevala. Bio sam u isku\u0161enju da se izderem na nju. Umjesto toga rekao sam: \u201eU redu\u201c. Ustao sam i naredna dva sata sam \u010distio gara\u017eu. Keri nije bila sigurna \u0161ta da misli. Do\u0161lo je naredno jutro.<\/p>\n

\u201e\u0160ta mogu u\u010diniti da ti dan u\u010dinim\u00a0boljim?\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201eNi\u0161ta\u201c, re\u010de ona. \u201eNe mo\u017ee\u0161 uraditi ni\u0161ta. Molim te prestani to govoriti\u201c.<\/p>\n

\u201e\u017dao mi je\u201d, rekao sam, \u201cali ne mogu. Obe\u0107ao sam sebi. \u0160ta mogu u\u010diniti da ti dan u\u010dinim\u00a0boljim?\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201eZa\u0161to to radi\u0161?\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201eZato jer mi je stalo do tebe\u201c, rekao sam. \u201cI do na\u0161eg braka\u201c.<\/p>\n

Sutradan sam je ponovo pitao. I narednog dana i tako dalje. Zatim i druge sedmice, a onda se dogodilo \u010dudo. Kada sam je upitao Kerine o\u010di su ispunile suze. Onda je briznula u pla\u010d. \u00a0Kada je mogla govoriti rekla je: \u201eMolim te, prestani da me to pita\u0161. Ti nisi problem. Ja sam. Sa mnom je te\u0161ko \u017eivjeti. Ne znam zbog \u010dega si ostao sa mnom\u201c.<\/p>\n

Nje\u017eno sam podigao njenu bradu dok me je gledala u o\u010di. \u201eZato jer te volim\u201c, rekao sam. \u201e\u0160ta mogu u\u010diniti da ti dan bude bolji?\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201eJa bih to trebala tebe pitati\u201c.<\/p>\n

\u201eTrebala bi\u201c, rekao sam. \u201eAli ne sada. Sada ja trebam biti promjena. Ti treba da zna\u0161 koliko mi zna\u010di\u0161\u201c.<\/p>\n

Spustila je glavu na moje grudi.<\/p>\n

\u201e\u017dao mi je \u0161to sam bila tako zla\u201c.<\/p>\n

\u201eVolim te\u201c, rekao sam joj.<\/p>\n

\u201eJa volim tebe\u201c, odgovorila je.<\/p>\n

\u201e\u0160ta mogu u\u010diniti da ti dan u\u010dinim boljim?\u201c, slatko me je pogledala.<\/p>\n

\u201eMo\u017eda bismo mogli provesti neko vrijeme zajedno\u201c, nasmije\u0161io sam se .<\/p>\n

\u201eVoljela bih\u201c.<\/p>\n

Pitao sam je vi\u0161e od mjesec dana, i stvari su se promijenile. Sva\u0111e su prestale.<\/p>\n

Onda je Keri po\u010dela pitati, \u201e\u0160ta ti je potrebno od mene? Kako mogu biti bolja supruga?\u201c<\/p>\n

Zidovi izme\u0111u nas su pali. Po\u010deli smo smisleno razgovarati o tome \u0161ta \u017eelimo od \u017eivota i kako bismo mogli u\u010diniti jedno drugo sretnijim. Ali, nismo rije\u0161ili na\u0161e probleme. Ne mogu re\u0107i da se nikada vi\u0161e nismo sva\u0111ali. Ali u prirodi na\u0161e sva\u0111e su se promijenile. Ne samo da su postajale sve rje\u0111e i rje\u0111e, ve\u0107 nisu ni imale energiju kao nekada. Ostavili smo ih bez kisika. Jednostavno nismo vi\u0161e \u017eeljeli da povrijedimo jedno drugo.<\/p>\n

Keri i ja smo sada u braku ve\u0107 vi\u0161e od trideset godina. I ne samo da volim svoju suprugu, ve\u0107 mi se i svi\u0111a. Volim biti s njom. \u017dudim za njom. Potrebna mi je .<\/p>\n

Mnoge \u00a0od na\u0161ih razlika su postale na\u0161e prednosti, a druge nisu ni bile bitne. Nau\u010dili smo kako da brinemo jedno o drugom, i \u0161to je jo\u0161 va\u017enije, \u017eeljeli smo da to radimo. Brak je te\u017eak. Ali isto tako je te\u0161ko i roditeljstvo, ostajanje u formi, pisanje knjiga kao i sve ostalo \u0161to je va\u017eno i korisno u \u017eivotu. Imati partnera u \u017eivotu je izuzetan poklon. Tako\u0111er sam nau\u010dio da institucija braka mo\u017ee pomo\u0107i da iscijelimo na\u0161e strane koje nisu dostojne ljubavi. A\u00a0svi mi imamo strane koje nisu dostojne ljubavi.<\/p>\n

Tokom vremena sam nau\u010dio da je na\u0161e iskustvo samo \u0161ira\u00a0lekcija o braku. Svako ko je u ozbiljnoj vezi treba pitati osobu do koje mu je stalo: \u201e\u0160ta mogu u\u010diniti da ti dan u\u010dinim boljim?\u201c To je ljubav. Romanti\u010dni romani (napisao sam ih nekoliko) su o \u017eeljama i \u2018\u017eivjeli su sretno do kraja \u017eivota\u2019, ali \u017eivjeli su sretno do kraja \u017eivota ne dolazi iz \u017eelje, ne barem iz one opisane u ve\u0107ini romansi. Prava ljubav nije \u017eeljeti osobu, ve\u0107 istinski \u017eeljeti da bude sretna, ponekad, \u010dak, na u\u0161trb va\u0161e vlastite sre\u0107e. Prava ljubav nije u\u010diniti da druga osoba postane kopija vas samih. To je kada pro\u0161irite vlastite sposobnosti tolerancije i brige, i kada aktivno nastojite usre\u0107iti drugog. Sve ostalo je jednostavna \u0161arada vlastitih interesa.<\/p>\n

Ne ka\u017eem da ovo \u0161to se dogodio Keri i meni se mo\u017ee primijeniti na svakome. Nisam ni tvrdio da svi brakovi trebaju opstati. Ali ja sam izuzetno zahvalan na inspiraciji koja mi je do\u0161la tog davnog dana. Zahvalan sam \u0161to je moja porodica jo\u0161 uvijek netaknuta i \u0161to jo\u0161 uvijek imam svoju suprugu, mog najboljeg prijatelja u krevetu pored mene kada se probudim ujutro. I zahvalan sam i sada, decenijama nakon, \u0161to \u0107e se jedno od nas i dalje prevrnuti u krevetu i re\u0107i: \u201e\u0160ta mogu u\u010diniti da ti dan bude bolji?\u201c Biti osoba kojoj je postavljeno to pitanje zaista vrijedi bu\u0111enja ujutro.<\/p>\n

Napisao: Richard Paul Evans<\/strong><\/p>\n

Prijevod i izvor: IslamBosna.ba<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Pogledajte vijest na izvornom sajtu:<\/p>\n

Kako sam spasio svoj brak<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Moja najstarija k\u0107er, Jenna, mi je nedavno rekla: \u201eMoj najve\u0107i strah u djetinjstvu je bio da se ti i mama razvedete. Onda, kada mi je bilo 12 godina, odlu\u010dila sam da se toliko sva\u0111ate da bi bilo najbolje da se razvedete\u201c. Zatim je dodala sa osmjehom: \u201eDrago mi je da ste neke stvari shvatili\u201c. Dugo […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":153022,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10514],"tags":[10516],"class_list":{"0":"post-153020","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-islam-press","8":"tag-islam"},"yoast_head":"\nKako sam spasio svoj brak<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/sandzakpress.net\/arhiva\/kako-sam-spasio-svoj-brak\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"bs_BA\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kako sam spasio svoj brak\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Moja najstarija k\u0107er, Jenna, mi je nedavno rekla: \u201eMoj najve\u0107i strah u djetinjstvu je bio da se ti i mama razvedete. 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Onda, kada mi je bilo 12 godina, odlu\u010dila sam da se toliko sva\u0111ate da bi bilo najbolje da se razvedete\u201c. Zatim je dodala sa osmjehom: \u201eDrago mi je da ste neke stvari shvatili\u201c. 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