{"id":108587,"date":"2014-07-12T17:38:04","date_gmt":"2014-07-12T15:38:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sandzakpress.net\/arhiva\/?p=108587"},"modified":"2014-07-12T17:38:04","modified_gmt":"2014-07-12T15:38:04","slug":"tebi-gospodo-evropo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandzakpress.net\/arhiva\/tebi-gospodo-evropo\/","title":{"rendered":"Tebi, \u201cgospo\u0111o\u201d Evropo!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
\u0160efka Begovi\u0107-Li\u010dina<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Obra\u0107am ti se sa \u201c gospo\u0111o \u201c , jer su me roditelji, kao malu nau\u010dili da se prema svakom ophodim sa po\u0161tovanjem. Gospo\u0111e su pravedne, plemenite, blage .Ti nisi \u201cgospo\u0111o\u201d Evropo, znam to ve\u0107 godinama. Mo\u017eda ne\u0107e\u0161 htjeti pro\u010ditati ovaj moj tekst, ne\u0107e\u0161 \u017eeljeti da \u010duje\u0161 moje rije\u010di, ni istinu koju \u0107u ti napisati. Odavno si ti gluha na vapaje nas Bo\u0161njaka iz Bosne. Gledala si mirno kako umiremo. Nisu te doticale na\u0161e rane i bol, ni jecaji majki, vrisak nena i silovanih djevica, krikovi ubijenih sinova. Nisi imala ko\u0161mare zbog sru\u0161enih djevoja\u010dkih snova i izgubljene \u010dasti.<\/span><\/p>\n

– Zar je u tebi umro insan \u201cgospo\u0111o?\u201d- pitam te, kao \u0161to \u0107e\u0161 biti pitana na Sudnjem danu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Imala sam deset godina, kad je po\u010deo rat. \u017divjela sam na imanju sa roditeljima, nenom, bratom i starijom sestrom. Imanje nam nije bilo veliko, ali smo bili bogati i \u017eivjeli sretni u ljepoti onoga \u0161to nam je davala na\u0161a zemlja.<\/span><\/p>\n

Budila sam se svakog jutra, radosna i jurila u susret suncu i ljepoti dana. Tr\u010dala sam na\u0161im livadama za razigranim janjadima i \u0161arenim liptirima. Udisala sam najljep\u0161e mirise otkosa , bilja i drve\u0107a iz \u0161ume. Umivala sam se rosom i pila tek pomu\u017eeno mlijeko i vodu sa izvora. Nisam nikuda i\u0161la iz Skelana i mislila sam da je moje selo najljep\u0161e na dunjaluku. Nisam znala za kompjutere, mobtele, ni Tv, a ja opet bila najsretnija i svaki dan mi letio kao san.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00b8 Kad je kod nas po\u010delo da se puca, da li si tada \u201c gospo\u0111o\u201d Evropo, \u0161trecnula i prepala se za goli \u017eivot kao \u0161to smo mi? Da li si mogla zamislit kako \u0107e se raspasti na\u0161i \u017eivoti?<\/span><\/p>\n

Ti, si tada vjerovatno, bila na nekom kongresu u svijetu licemerja, slave, rukovanja, pompi, uz bogatu trpezu sa pi\u0107em u ruci , sa la\u017enim osmjehomi i rije\u010dima da \u0107e\u0161 zavesti red u na\u0161oj zemlji.<\/span><\/p>\n

Prve ba\u010dene granate, razbile su u par\u010di\u0107e moje djetinjstvo i uni\u0161tile moj \u017eivot.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dok su tebe slikali \u201cgospo\u0111o\u201d ja sam sa deset godina, shvatila svu strahotu rata i upoznavala zlo\u010dince. Bila sam dijete, koje je rat preko no\u0107i pretvorio u odraslu osobu. Do\u0161li su pogani ljudi i uni\u0161tili na\u0161 \u017eivot i razru\u0161ili nam dom.<\/span><\/p>\n

Oca i brata su ubili pred ku\u0107om. Brat je jo\u0161 davao znake \u017eivota, kad su nas odveli. Ostao je u ropcu i ne znamo kad je izdahnuo.<\/span><\/p>\n

Njegov umiru\u0107i pogled ne\u0107u zaboraviti dok sam \u017eiva. Nije to bio pogled koji moli, ni zove u pomo\u0107. Ne! Njegov pogled je bio pun prezira i srama na tebe \u201c gospo\u0111o\u201d. Umirao je, a bio ja\u010di, no ti \u0161to \u0107e\u0161 ikada biti.<\/span><\/p>\n

Zatvorili su nas u neki hangar i bilo nas je preko dvije hiljade ljudi. Svi smo bili zbijeni jedan uz drugog kao drvca u kutiji \u0161ibica. Ja sam samo \u017eeljela zraka, iako mi je glad \u010dupao \u017eeludac, a usta pucala od \u017ee\u0111i.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ni svi mirisi tvojih holandski lala, ni pariskih parfema, ne bi mogli ugu\u0161it zadah \u0161to nas je gu\u0161io u toj gomili ljudi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Podnosili smo dostojanstveno svoje muke i to te\u0161ko isku\u0161enje, koje je bilo vi\u0161e tvoje nego na\u0161e. U nekoj nijemoj ti\u0161ini, bez zraka, razgovarali smo pogledima i razumjeli se. Dovama* smo \u010duvali razum i znali da moramo izdr\u017eat i pre\u017eivjet. Htjeli smo da makar neko ostane i svjedo\u010di o ljudskim nakazama, kojima se herojstvo ogledalo u zlo\u010dinima.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ti si tada \u201c gospo\u0111o\u201d u nekom pariskom teatru u\u017eivala u nekoj predstavi, ili si jedrila morem, letjela avionom za Helsinki, mo\u017eda pila pun\u010d u Budimpe\u0161ti na koktelu licemjernih vo\u0111a svijeta. Spavala si u luksuznom hotelu na obali Temze u svili i perju.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Mi mi smo \u201c gospo\u0111o\u201d Evropo, spavali uspravno, jedni drugima naslonjeni na rame. Niz noge nam se , slivao urin, koji smo bosim nogama zatrpavali u zemlju da ugu\u0161imo zadah. Nismo mogli ni da \u010du\u010dnemo. Noge i cijelo tijelo nismo osje\u0107ali, samo nam je du\u0161a bila \u017eiva. Nismo gubili nadu u spas, ni vjeru u Boga d\u017e.\u0161. Uzdizali smo duh iznad na\u0161ih izmrcvarenih tijela.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sada znam da smo nas dvije hiljade ljudi, bili ja\u010di nego cijelo tvoje bi\u0107e \u201c gospo\u0111o \u201c sa toliko dr\u017eava, mora , topova, sile. Umirali smo sa dovama, okamenjenim suzama i kletvom. Dok su nas vodili ka logoru, krvnici su nas udarali , pa nam je odje\u0107a bila u dronjcima, ali smo izgledali sve\u010danije obu\u010deni od tebe \u201c gospo\u0111o \u201c Evropo, sa svilomi i \u0161trasom. Mi smo na sebi imali ne\u0161to mnogo bogatije, no ti \u0161to ima\u0161. Imali smo \u010dast i sad je imamo.<\/span>
Prorijedili su nas, pa smo mogli sjesti. Ti bi nam rekla: \u201c Pa eto, bilo vam je lak\u0161e \u201c<\/span><\/p>\n

Nije nam bilo, jer su neke \u0161to su odveli, ubili. Cure su odvodili sebi za zabavu.<\/span><\/p>\n

– Da li si \u010dula, \u201c gospo\u0111o \u201c vrisak djevice, koja zna da \u0107e joj silom biti oduzeta \u010dast? Ili mo\u017eda ne zna\u0161 \u0161ta je to?<\/span><\/p>\n

Mogla sam sjesti na zemlju natopljenu urinom i suzama o\u010dajnih majki, \u0161to su im odvodili k\u0107eri. Bo\u0161nja\u010dke djevice, netaknute pupoljke, odnjivljene na livadama Semberije, napojene vodom sa Drine, po ro\u0111enju okupane vodom iz Une i Neretve, zadojene mlijekom sa Jahorine, Igmana i Bjela\u0161nice.<\/span>
Svake no\u0107i, na\u0161e nevine curice, djevojke, krvoloci su odvodili u svoje odaje.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Odvodili ih izrodi i zvjeri ljudske, da utole monstruoznu glad. Ostavljali za sobom gibet, sram i pe\u010dat, \u0161to ne mo\u017ee oprat sva voda svijeta, \u010dak ni vrijeme stolje\u0107a.<\/span><\/p>\n

Vra\u0107ali su ih u zoru, ra\u0161\u010dupane, pocijepane, krvave. To vi\u0161e nisu bile ponosne , bujne djevojke livada, \u0161uma i rijeka Bosne. To su bili polumrtvi, poluludi insani , koje su kao snoplje padale na zemlju. Nisu dozvoljavale nikom da ih utje\u0161i ni dodirne, \u010dak ni svojim majkama. Satima su sjedele okamenjene, gledale u prazno, bez suza i rije\u010di. Odvodili su ih ponovo svake no\u0107i i ponovo ubijali njihovo dostojanstvo , a mi svi nijemo kleli zlo\u010dince i tebe.\u00a0<\/span>
Bosna je je\u010dala od rana , vriska curica, vapaja majki i slala ti pozive u pomo\u0107. Ti nisi htjela da \u010duje\u0161, \u201c gospo\u0111o \u201c Evropo, iako se vrisak \u010duo do neba. Nisi mogla \u010duti od glasne muzike be\u010dke filhramonije ili neke operete izvedene u Milanu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pucnji, jeka, galama, udarci; time su bili ispunjeni na\u0161i \u017eivoti, a ti si \u0161utjela.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ti si \u201c gospo\u0111o \u201c Evropo, mirno slu\u0161ala o nekoj maloj zemlji, tamo na Balkanu, gdje ljudi ratuju. Gustirala si mirno svoje pi\u0107e negdje u \u0160paniji, odmarala u hladu na udobnoj le\u017ealjci. \u0160minkali te nave\u010de, pred izlazak na snimanje za Tv. Dok smo mi umirali, ti si ispred svjetla reflektora, pru\u017eala ruku uz licemjeran osmjeh.<\/span><\/p>\n

Odavno , ja znam \u201c gospo\u0111o\u201d Evropo, da su to bile samo isprike za putovanja, susrete, sjaj, divljenje i odavno ti ja ne vjerujem.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ja sam u zagu\u0161ljivom hangaru, sa hiljadama nevinih ljudi sanjala i \u017eeljela samo slobodu. Nismo ni\u0161ta drugo tra\u017eili, sem da budemo ljudi. Ti si, \u201c gospo\u0111o\u201d Evropo, imala drugi san. Sanjala si, Nijagarine vodopade, ljepote Venecije ili viski u restoranu Ajfelove kule.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dok si ti mijenjala udobne fotelje, majka i ja smo sjedele na le\u0111ima moje sestre, zgr\u010dene ispod nas. Majka je pokrivala dimijama, a ja tijelom da je sakrijemo od krvnika i sa\u010duvamo njenu \u010dast. Ona je drhtala podamnom , kao upla\u0161eni ze\u010di\u0107. Zato ja sad \u201c gospo\u0111o\u201d imam fobiju da sjednem, jer se pla\u0161im da \u0107u osjetiti sestrino drhtanje i ponovo onaj strah da \u0107e je zlikovci na\u0107.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bog d\u017e. \u0161. je htio da ostanem \u017eiva, da pamtim, prezirem zlo\u010dince i tebe.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nisam tra\u017eila da odlikuje\u0161 moj narod, \u0161to je, u okupiranom Sarajevu, dok su se razarale i ru\u0161ile d\u017eamije, sa\u010duvao dvije crkve: pravoslavnu i katoli\u010dku. Nisam tra\u017eila ordenje, \u0161to je moj Bo\u0161njak , iz po\u0161tovanja prema vjeri, sa\u010duvao Jevrejima Hagadu, najve\u0107e bogatstvo njihove historije.\u00a0<\/span>
\u017deljela sam samo , da kazni\u0161 zlo\u010dince.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ostala sam siro\u010de, bez ikoga svoga i bez i\u010dega. Domovina mi je bila uni\u0161tena, porodica ubijena, djetinjstvo ukradeno. Snagom volje, pomo\u0107u Boga d\u017e.\u0161. i dobrih ljudi, uspjela sam da opstanem i uspravim se. Bol, koji sam do\u017eivjela, jo\u0161 je taze i nosim ga kao vje\u010dnu ranu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Studentica sam fakulteta Politi\u010dkih nauka u Sarajevu. Nisam ja \u201cgospo\u0111o\u201d Evropo, ovaj fakultet upisala slu\u010dajno. Ho\u0107u znanjem i umom da dosegnem vrh pravde. \u017delim da ti primjerom poka\u017eem, kako treba biti pravedan i pravi \u010dovjek.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mo\u017eda jednog dana, ja i moja zemlja budemo dijelili pravdu tebi. Nikad se ne zna!<\/span><\/p>\n

Moj cilj je veliki i ja idem ka njemu. Snagu mi daju mrtve kosti mojih najmilijih , nezaboravljeni pogled umiru\u0107eg brata, babov uzdah, sestini drhtaji i nedo\u010dekana mladost.<\/span>
Ne\u0107u ti re\u0107i kako su mi ubijene sestra, majka i nena, a kako sam ja pre\u017eivjela. Ne!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0160ta za tebe zna\u010di, \u0161to sam ja ostala bez pet dragih osoba? \u0160ta zna\u010de za tebe hiljade ubijenih ljudi? To je za tebe samo broj zemlje na Balkanu.<\/span>
Da su u tolikom broju ubijene cuke, cijeli svijet i ljudi za za\u0161titu \u017eivotinja, digli bi svoj glas.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pro\u010ditala sam da ste u Kosmos slali psa Lajku. Brinula joj cijela planeta, da li \u0107e se \u017eiva vratit na zemlju. Za hiljade \u017eivota, gospodo , niste brinuli.<\/span>
Zato, ja ho\u0107u vama \u201c gospo\u0111o\u201d Evropo i ostaloj gospodi, \u0161to sjedi za stolom, da poka\u017eem \u0161ta je pravda.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ako jednog dana sretne\u0161 mladu, dostojanstvenu djevojku u najljep\u0161em hid\u017eabu sa mirisom behara i trave sa poko\u0161enih livada, koja pri\u010da \u0161apatom planinskih poto\u010di\u0107a a ima aktovku u ruci i u o\u010dima ljepotu Bosne; znaj da sam to ja: Adisa iz Skelana, koja ti je napisala ovo pismo.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ja \u0107u te \u201c gospo\u0111o\u201d Evropo, kao predava\u010d na fakultetu, vratiti da ponovo bude\u0161 bruco\u0161, da dobro prou\u010di\u0161 i nau\u010di\u0161 pravo \u010dovjeka na \u017eivot. Da savlada\u0161 Zakon koji odre\u0111uje kaznu za svaki po\u010dinjeni zlo\u010din.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Da\u0107u ti negativnu ocjenu, \u0161to nisi zapamtila da svaki \u010dovjek ima pravo na slobodu i u\u017eiva na zemlji, gdje ima mjesta za sve nas. \u0160to nisi kaznila one koji su nam to uskratili i \u0161to nisi na\u0161la krvoloke, koji su nam ubili najdra\u017ee i razorili nam dom. Svetili su nam se samo zato \u0161to imamo druga\u010dija imena i druga\u010dije vjerovanje.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Gospo\u0111o \u201c Evropo, pali ste na ispitu!<\/span><\/p>\n

Ako \u017eeli\u0161 \u010duti odgovor, za\u0161to ti nisam dala prelaznu ocjenu, otputuj do Tuzle i pro\u0161etaj do Kapije, gdje je umrla mladost, gdje su zale\u0111eni osmjesi i pjesma maturanata. Tu \u0107e\u0161 zate\u0107i majku \u0161to sa ispru\u017eenim rukama ka nebu, ne\u010dujno u\u010di Fatihu i staricu u crnini, \u0161to drhtavom rukom poku\u0161ava upaliti svije\u0107u. Odgovor \u0107e\u0161 dobit \u201cgospo\u0111o\u201d na Markalama, gdje se u temelje tek popravljenog asfalta, duboko sakrio sram.<\/span>
Na mostu Suade Dilberovi\u0107, zastani i pitaj je za\u0161to nije lije\u010dnica u bijelom mantilu i ko joj je ukrao mladost. Pro\u0161etaj do groblja na Kova\u010de, pro\u010ditaj datume ro\u0111enja i dan smrti svih pokopanih. Upitaj ih za\u0161to su u tolikom broju, \u0161to su mladi umrli i to \u0107e ti biti odgovor za\u0161to si na ispitu pala.<\/span>
U svakom \u0107o\u0161ku Bosne, na\u0107i \u0107e\u0161 odgovor.<\/span><\/p>\n

Da li \u0107e\u0161 , idu\u0107i mojom Bosnom, ugnuti glavu od srama i nepravde?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Usput \u0107e\u0161 se mo\u017eda \u010dudit, \u0161to je moja zemlja \u017eiva i jo\u0161 ljep\u0161a no \u0161to je bila. Zapuhnu\u0107e te behari jabuka i \u0161eftelija, mirisi zambaka, zumbula i mladosti. Ne\u0107e\u0161 vidjeti nigdje mr\u017enju u o\u010dima. Mi ne umijemo da mrzimo. Mi samo preziremo, a to je za \u010dovjeka najgore.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Jednom \u0107emo mo\u017eda \u201c gospo\u0111o\u201d Evropo, ti i ja sjedeti za istim stolom i sudit drugima. Ja \u0107u sa sobom donijeti pravdu, miris i ljubav Bosne. Nau\u010di\u0107u te da su istina, \u010dast i ljubav ljep\u0161i od sjaja Pariza, historije Rima, mo\u0107i Londona, parkova Var\u0161ave, bogatstva Stokholma. Pokaza\u0107u ti da smo opstali, oja\u010dali i da uspravljeni idemo u budu\u0107nost.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Zvala bih te ove godine 11. jula na d\u017eenazu eshumiranih \u017ertava iz Srebrenice, ali ne smijem. Prepozna\u0107e te \u0161ehidi, pa \u0107e te pljuvat hiljade mezara \u0161to nijemo stoje u redu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ne\u0107u se na kraju potpisat. Umjesto potpisa, \u0161aljem ti sliku poredanih tabuta u Poto\u010darima.<\/span>
Neka ti oni, \u201c gospo\u0111o \u201c Evropo, umjesto mene ispi\u0161u svoja imena i brojeve.<\/span>

Danas \u0161utite, ljudi!<\/span>
U\u0161utite!<\/span>
Dok majka suzama okupa kosti suhe,<\/span>
Dok sestra cvije\u0107e na bratov mezar posadi,<\/span>
Dok dijete tabutu o\u010devom \u0161apu\u0107e…<\/span>
danas \u0161utite, ljudi!<\/span>
U\u0161utite!<\/span>
Dok se sram do neba zacrveni!<\/span>
\u0160utite, ljudi!<\/span><\/p>\n

Autor:\u00a0\u0160efka Begovi\u0107-Li\u010dina<\/b><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u0160efka Begovi\u0107-Li\u010dina<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":108597,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10196],"tags":[10264],"class_list":{"0":"post-108587","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-iz-pera-nasih-autora","8":"tag-srebrenica"},"yoast_head":"\nTebi, \u201cgospo\u0111o\u201d Evropo!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/sandzakpress.net\/arhiva\/tebi-gospodo-evropo\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"bs_BA\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Tebi, \u201cgospo\u0111o\u201d Evropo!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u0160efka Begovi\u0107-Li\u010dina\" \/>\n<meta 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